Monster Mash

I am hyped up! My energy level is staggering. My heart is pumping 100% pure bull's blood through my PVC pipe veins. (PVC piping is what we use in the pool business - strong stuff, lasts for an eternity.) I have crazy strength. I have the combined fortitude of five middle-aged mothers that have suddenly found their young, feeble offspring lodged under the steel-walled tire of a semi filled with Nautilus gym equipment. I shampoo my hair with additive free adrenaline. I sprinkle testosterone on my Farina. I stand naked in a steam room...I don't sweat, but if I did, I would sweat tears of mercy from those that have wronged me. I recently beat a Cheetah in a potato sack race...I was wearing the potato sack; the cheetah came equipped with a rocket pack. I eat a five to seven dollar meal for lunch. I drink eighteen ounces of Monster Milk brand human fuel mixed in whole milk for dinner. Every day, that's what I do.